Monday, February 11, 2013

Big Milestones!

 
The last couple days have been jam packed and baby boy is worn out! We have unfortunately not heard anything on the brain tumor front, but we have managed to stay busy.....
 
Yesterday we went to church for the first time in a really long time. Brayden and Lizzy went to the church nursery although I did have some apprehension about leaving him there, but who was I kidding? There would have been no way he could have been remotely quiet for 90 minutes, and I am sure he could not have gone 90 minutes without making Indian sounds. I certainly didn't want to be the new people with the noisy children. As I filled out his information (13 months, sits, does not crawl or walk, does not need a nap, has a blue blanket to soothe, etc) and they wrote his name on his back on masking tape it occurred to me that he has NEVER been left with anyone besides my family, and especially not a stranger (unless you count licensed health care providers which I don't). I figured it would be okay though since he would be with Lizzy, but then they told us they would be in different rooms since he couldn't walk :( Then they handed me a pager, saying they would page me if Brayden needed me.
 
As we found seats close to the nursery and I held tight to that little pager, I realized that I felt extremely uncomfortable. As time passed I began to remember why we were there, and the
sermon couldn't have been more appropriate. The title was "contentment in any situation". As time passed I began to feel more at home. When I went back to the nursery to pick Brayden up after church he was sitting in the floor sucking on his blanket. The ladies were very nice, said he did great, and had no stranger danger at all. I mentioned that he was born 8 weeks premature and left it at that. If it turns out this becomes our church and he will go there regularly then I'll tell them more about why he is the way he is. I thanked them for watching him and they said Brayden was welcome to come back next week. I have to work next Sunday, but my family will be returning. We decided that we will go three times and reevaluate, so we will see what happens.
 
Last night Brayden caught us all off guard. He took three steps all on his own!! He was leaning against granma saying his goodbyes and just took off. It was like he had somewhere to be. Thank goodness granma caught him or he would have face planted, but those three steps were all him. I think he scared himself as much as he scared me! I have been trying to get him to do it again but he refuses. He can be so stubborn sometimes, but I have no idea where he would get that from!
 
 
Then today he was holding himself up flicking the toys. He is getting some of those milestones checked off! At least we will have something new to tell our physical therapist when she comes Wednesday.
 
 
After we got home today and I was doing some things around the house while Brayden napped I saw this. My mom bought this for me while I was pregnant with Brayden. For those of you who didn't know me then I was not a pleasure to deal with. Very early in my pregnancy it looked like I was going to miscarry (again) and to say the least I was a nightmare to deal with from that point forward. I didn't even tell hardly ANYONE that I was pregnant until I was 16 weeks and had seen the him at least 3 times on ultrasound. I relaxed somewhere around 24 weeks, although I remember telling Bret that my worst fear was having Brayden early and not being able to bring him home. I just had one of those feelings.
 
As I read this saying again today, I realized that I am finally learning how to do this. I am learning how to appreciate the moments we have and to stop dwelling on the negative. I am also learning to stop worrying about will happen tomorrow and enjoy today. Its simply too exhausting to worry about what could happen tomorrow......
 
 

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