Monday, March 18, 2013

Hi Easter Bunny!

Excited to meet the Easter Bunny!

Yesterday we went to a new church with my family. I think we may have found a winner, but time will tell. Brayden and Lizzy appreciated that the service was only an hour, and Bret and I liked that it was less traditional. After church we went to meet the Easter Bunny! Brayden thought it was fun to flick Easter Bunny's fur and was his typical smiling self. Lizzy on the other hand was not impressed......

Hi momma- Tell Lizzy it's gonna be fine, she can stop crying!
Today I went and got a massage while Bret watched Brayden. I thought it would be relaxing and given how stressful tomorrow will be I figured it would be good for me. While it was relaxing, it did give me a solid 60 minutes to just think which may not have been a great thing in itself, because as I was heading out the door Dr G called. He read me the report from Boston which said that they agree the tumor is acting more aggressive than it should, and it does not look like a typical low grade glioma on MRI. Apparently low grade tumors have a "butterfly like" appearance, meaning that both the right and left thalamus are equally involved. In Brayden's case, the right thalamus is grossly enlarged, and while the left is abnormal, it is not nearly as large as the right side. Boston agrees that since the biopsy shows it is low grade and there is no proof that it is higher grade we should proceed with the Carboplatin/Vincristine protocol. While it is reassuring that they would proceed the same way, I am becoming increasingly nervous that the tumor is high grade.
From an emotional standpoint, my concern is that we will give him these toxic chemo drugs only to find out that the tumor has grown at a rapid rate and that we wasted very precious time with Brayden. As we quickly approach our first chemo dose tomorrow, I keep pushing this concept aside. When I think about it rationally, I feel that not allowing him to fight because it might not work is insane. I guess at this point I am beginning to believe that whatever we choose, we will always wonder if we made the right decision for Brayden.
Tomorrow is the big day! Brayden's first dose of chemotherapy. I pray that he tolerates as well as can be expected and bounces back quickly. I desperately hope that he will not be traumatized by the time we get home. It is my hope that with chemo being on Tuesday's he will feel reasonably well by the weekends, but we will see.

1 comment:

  1. That is one of the best smiles I have ever seen. He looks just like his dad. Prayers of stregnth for you and your family. The Lord is with you and watching over Brayden. He is one of God's children and will always be protected. In times like these when you may feel like God is not with you...that is when he is with you the most. Hugs and kisses to that beautiful baby boy.